Hunts, again? Really? *drama starting*

Let’s see, it’s rumored that… SE is going to make it again, to comit the same errors made in 2.3 / 2.5 / and Heavensward first month….

Yes, my friends, I’m speaking about…. THE HUNT (Input dramatic terror sound here) as a method to become 210 mainstream quickly just by farming monsters like crazy with 0 skill. Yes, a method to go and upgrade gear you work so hard for it!… You just need to… Get into 8 hunt linkshells, let someone go and search for them, go fast to the zone, do two-three hits, and, congratulations, after 8 hours of boring gameplay you have a new shiny item to reinforce your i210 stuff. (It was awesome to have Job stuff colored different, bye bye to it too).

No, but, speaking seriously… It costed me to believe it in 2.5… It also costed me to believe that it was back in early the expansion… And it will still costs me and amuse me that it’s going to be here, again, messing up the good community we have and giving us that ‘griefing’ we needed so much (?).
“But, hey, it’s totally optional, you are not forced to do hunts! You can just wait and get an item upgraded each week by doing the quests! It’s not like you’d be interested in also have all your gear i210 after all dem peasants in hunts did so! You are not forced!” (SEriously?.)

<— Round 2! Let’s remember those awesome things about hunt that we miss so much! —>

1- “Inv spam” -> We can enjoy again seeing our chats spammed with that stylish battlecry. Pro hunters know, you don’t need to have a linkshell to know where are hunts, just follow the inv spam.
2- “Toxic Fields” -> Ah, but, nothing like seeing what happens after the inv spam a minute after, you can read all kind of awesome comments from people, they are so happy about hunting.
3- “Bad guys are back” -> We always whine that we have no bad guys! Don’t worry! Early pullers and trollers will be back, the enemies number one of all us, they are so naughty! /add bl “Early Puller”
4- “No need to try hard anymore!” -> Why bothering trying hard to get good gear?! We can just sit around all day waiting for others to search our stuff and then go and spam one skill on a monster! Yay! I love having my alts i210 easy way!… SE please uncap esoterics now, it’s too painful to wait another week to get a piece to upgrade.

<— Round 3! We shall welcome again our dear hunting fauna, they’ll be back! All of the races, groups and types! —>

1- The Troller -> The one so cool enough to tell that there’s a S rank where it’s not. He’s really awesome and everyone hates him so much… Just like the early puller, he’s a total villain made out of pure skill…For lying.

2- The Early Puller -> The enemy number one of the server, he’s cool because he doesn’t wait for others, awesome because he’s always the same, everyone knows him, hates him but admires him, and he keeps doing it, nobody will ever let him die because they are goats who instantly kill the monster when someone touches it, (It’s fine, you can get quick your reward not having to wait, and you can always blame the early puller!). He’s secretly loved by the Well Informed group.

3- The Well Informed -> This guy has no raid groups and not linkshells for it, but, if he has, he now has deleted it all, it’s time to welcome the 8 slots and dedicate them only for hunts! He’s awesome because he’s always there one of the firsts and his ability to find the most active linkshell hunts is outstanding. Secretly loves the Early Puller because that way he doesn’t have to wait too much for go back crafting or lazy around Manderville Gold Saucer.

4- The Repeater -> Not necessarily associated with The Well Informed, but stills a variation of it. This guy has a lot of linkshells but, different to others, he has awesome mega cool macros to spam whenever he hears something in a linkshell. Sometimes he gets the appeareance that he’s the one going and finding the stuff out there even if he’s just repeating what he saw in another linkshell. But, it feels good, you are helping others to go there fast!. He loves The Scout Dog, since, most of messages he repeats sometimes come from him.

5- The Accuser -> He saw it, he knows who’s the early puller and he’ll make sure to tell everyone to blacklist him. The Accuser is kind of like a politician of the hunts, he keeps gaining good fame and influence by reporting others or blaming others, and, once he’s in power and have some powers and the people’s trust, then he can start to blame his enemies even if they are innocent. (Oh! It doesn’t matter how nice someone was, once you accusate it of bein an early puller people will go unreasonable and hate it!… Sweet!)

6- The Scout Dog -> He’s not so valuated like The Repeater or The Accuser, neither so famous as The Early Puller, but, he’s the one that makes hunting possible. The Scout Dog is who finds fun into encountering the elite marks himself, either searching or going in party. He thinks he’s awesome for finding it and doesn’t realize that the high chances he has for finding monsters are not due to his exploratory skills or luck, but, rather, because he’s the only one doing all the work for the other 99% of ”hunters”.

7- The Pro Hunter -> If you mix The Repeater, with The Accuser, and you give it 10 hours per day to be there for all the hunts that appear, and website powers to check when monsters will appear… Then you obtain the final product of the hunt, the boss, the Pro hunter, though, he would never be able to kill an elite mark alone even if he’d duplicate x 8 and make his full party, he has the power to decide the destiny of most of hunters and the elite marks of the area and everyone knows it. He also has the power to decide where the S ranks spawn because he can go and activate their mechanisms the days he know and want and then call out in linkshells.

8- The Whiner -> Exists only for arriving too late and blame the early puller, or even those who pulled even if they waited 10 minutes. He’s the favorite of the Early Puller, his comments make him feel even more evil-mad-cool and fuels his inspiration to keep going. The Whiner will never become The Accuser even if he secretly aims for it, people knows he’s paranoid and at certain points just whines for the sake of doing it, or because habit, thus, never getting any trust of the others.

9- The True Hunter -> Also called “noob” by the rest of the hunter fauna. This poor guy goes and finds his stuff alone, and, either with his party of true hunters or alone, he defeats the elite mark, requires skill and all so, but, you get hate because you didn’t share it with others. Plus, it’s also noob to do it so challenging because it’s not rewarding at all and you gain from 10 to 5 times less seals than the rest of the fauna. Underestimated like the scout dog and in the shadow, the main difference with it is that fights his stuff and gets less benefits.

10- The Casual -> He doesn’t care about hunts because it’s boring content and knows that it doesn’t require skill but just to sacrifice linkshell slots. So just joins the hunt sometimes, if some guild or raid member is going or making a party, eventually, in rare ocasions.

11- The Ninja -> He’s the party leader. Whenever you shout “Inv” if you get an invitation in one mili-second then it means you have been invited by The Ninja. This guy is the most reliable one for doing a S rank without having drama later, his ninja skills allow him to send a quick invitation and fill a 8 man party in just a few seconds, and they are stealthy, you do never know if they are in a map because you don’t see their “Inv” message, they don’t need to make one.

12 – Lazy Princess -> She’s tired today. Well, to be honest, she’s tired everyday, so… You are the chosen one, her blue prince, go to face the terrible monster for her and call her when it’s almost over, she’ll use the Eternal Bonding ring to teleport to your location and also get part of the treasure as if she’d be a hunter!

13 – The Diva -> There’s only one she or he goes to the hunt, and it’s because… He’s fabulous! And Eorzea shall know it too, because, especially when the hunt is on its maximum level all the damn server gathers there The Diva finds this an unique oportunity in life to show up there, using all his rare mounts or showing all the new glamours he made, (And of course using one or two skills while in party to get the loot). The Diva tends to get some distance from the Early Puller… What would people think if his awesome image would be spoiled by the evil aura of that monster?! It’s also one of the first ones in using a “good job” macro with a moogle or something cute.

14 – The ”Forced” one -> He’s here because he doesn’t want to be left behind in the gears or wait months to upgrade it while the rest of hunter fauna has it everything full… So despite hating the hunts and everything related to its fauna does his best effort to try to be there and get his stuff. The Forced one can never be The Scout Dog because he thinks that doing all the work for the rest of lazy bums is pointless and he has no time for it, he tries to make it easy, like the 95%, and the less painful for him possible in order to get his gear and then try to forget about the hunt until next expansion makes it trending. It’s also called antisocial because rarely shouts an “inv” (Would feel ashamed to let know others he’s even doing this stuff) so tries to invite people, in a futile attempt, before The Ninja does it and get a small party. Sometimes tries to invite The Casual with him to make the hunt less painful since it’s only one he can get along with. Usually his opinion of hunters is the lowest, and doesn’t admire the Early Puller.

<– Round 4 –>

Dedicated only to say that I’m not a native English speaker and I wrote this too fast, so I’d appreciate to avoid what tends to happen when people goes into intolerant mode. And that, yes, if It’s not clear, I don’t miss any of the things of the hunt nor their awesome and fabulous groups, we are fine without them too!.

Inb4: “Omg you just whine because you are the 1% raider super elite, this game is made for we casuals” / “all gear tends to get easy to obtain when we advance” ———>>> OKAY…. So this is really the content that a casual would enjoy? Fascinating, I also can admit it can be fascinating, really, taking a look to the groups that shape the hunt community… Yeah! It’s worth a try.

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