Tosgold.com, an online store that sells TOS Silver for gaming addicts, recently started selling Tree of Savior Silver for TOS fans and gaming addicts all across. The owners claimed that the Tree of Savior Silver available on their website are some of the cheapest silver available on the web at this moment. They added that people who take deep interest in Tree of Savior online game can now buy these silver to build their squads, bring in new players and sign in the biggest stars in the virtual world of gaming by buying these Silver.
The owners of the TOSGOLD selling Tree of Savior Silver also told the press that the Tree of Savior virtual Silver offered by different sellers can be compared on their website and buyers can actually get the chance to buy the cheapest Tree of Savior Silver. They maintained that buying these silver would unlock different levels of excitement for the Tree of Savior addicts as they can surely sign in some of the best players in the virtual transfer market. They added that the silver are meant for buying players and other essentials online only and have no value in the real-world currency exchange market.
“For gamers who are deeply engrossed in Tree of Savior games these silver are more precious than the real world silver and we know that. There are gamers who want to increase their stock of silver so that they can buy top players from the virtual transfer market. We can assure our patrons that with the latest Tree of Savior Silver in their stock, it would always be a win-win situation for them. We have kept the prices low as we know many of the avid gamers who play the much exciting Tree of Savior game are still in college and have no substantial income as such. We can assure anybody who wants to buy Tree of Savior Silver from our website that the Silver can be used for enhancing their gaming experience”, claimed the CEO of Tosgold.com during a recently held press conference here in the USA. He also added that the price of the TOS Silver may go down in the future.
About the Company
Tosgold.com is an online store selling Tree of Savior Silver.
Moonshade Cartel is a reformed (Large house, airships rank 8 and the such) free company that is looking build a new core group and expand their group of friends.
What makes Moonshade Cartel different?
-We are looking to bring back the community aspect to FC’s. Many Smaller FC’s are focused on a single static, or a static in general and a lot of the day to day management falls to the wayside. Although we may eventually have a few statics in the FC and plenty of members already part of statics not based around an FC we plan to keep the social aspects and the static aspects separate.
Do you guys do Diadem? I like Diadem.
-While Diadem is an oasis of fun…. many of our members enjoy Palace of the dead, old and current Primals and are especially excited for the upcoming addition to Palace of the Dead and to venture back into Diadem when the upcoming revamp hits that. Also why do you like diadem, ew!
I don’t raid….
-Hey that’s okay! no matter what you enjoy doing in game you’ll find other like minded and mature players that you can clear or craft with to your hearts content. Or you can ignore everyone and brood in a corner! (Our home has lots of empty corners for you to brood in)
Did you steal that?
This sounds haphazardly strewn together and just crazy enough to work! How do I find out more, or berate you in game?
-Just Whisper Piney Poe in game! Or punch him, he’s a lala he doesn’t have feelings haha! You can also find Tiger Fury to ask him to hit Piney Poe for you if your busy in game or if Piney is not online.
With 2016 almost coming to a close, Io-Interactive has announced the release date and location for the sixth and final episode of Hitman. The season finale is set within Hokkaido, Japan and will release on October 31.
The mission titled “Situs Inversus” brings Agent 47 to the grounds of a private hospital and resort. The facility is a fusion of Japanese beauty and cutting-edge technology, featuring its own Zen gardens, organic sushi restaurant and traditional Japanese hot spring. There, the young assassin is tasked find and take out two targets.
In case you missed out on all of the previous Hitman episodes, rest assured as Square Enix has planned to release a complete collection of the whole season on January 31. Click here to find out more.
A CGI Opening video for the recently released Mobile game titled Justice Monsters Five has been uploaded by Square Enix today. The video focuses on showing our five main heroes named Bomb Bro, Fab Flan, Lamiana, Casanova Coeurl and Grim Gargoyle.
Additionally, fans can jump into the game, get a Malboro and experience the Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV event taking place at the moment.
Justice Monsters Five is now available to download on both iOS and Android devices. The game will be featured in Final Fantasy XV as a mini-game players can try out in-game.
The Continental Circus is back in town for another All Saints’ Wake. Starting this upcoming Wednesday, you’ll be able to participate in this limited-time seasonal event and earn a variety of exclusive treats.
Check them out below:
Begin: Wednesday, October 19 @ 1:00am PDT
End: Tuesday, November 1 @ 7:59am PDT
Location: Adventurers’ Guild Investigator – Old Gridania (x10.4; y8.5)
All Saints’ Wake 2016 Rewards:
Vampire Vest (glamour♂♀)
Continental Eye (minion)
Pumpkin Stew (tabletop furnishing)
All Saints’ Wake (orchestrion roll)
Up At Dawn (orchestrion roll)
Magicked Prism – Pumpkin (seasonal miscellany)
Final Fantasy XIV is now available for Windows PC, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, and Mac. Patch 3.4 “Soul Surrender” went live on September 27th 2016. You can check out more of our coverage here.
Live from the Final Fantasy XIV Fan Festival in Las Vegas, the team has revealed that Final Fantasy XIV’s next expansion will be called “Stormblood” — releasing in Early Summer 2017.
We’re going to Ala Mhigo! The story will revolve around freeing Ala Mhigo from the Garlean Empire. Does the new generation of Ala Mhigans welcome or shun the Empire? It’s complicated. The focus now will shift back to the Empire – toward the occupying ruler of Ala Mhigo – Zenos Yae Galvus.
The focus now will shift back to the Empire – toward the occupying ruler of Ala Mhigo – Zenos Yae Galvus. Who is this woman (in red)? She’ll be revealed in the coming months. The Warrior of Light has job changed to Monk! Rhalgr’s Reach, where the trailer takes place, is the base of the Ala Mhigan Resistance – its where the story begins.
Regarding new jobs, Yoshida takes off his jacket and shows off a Scarlet Witch shirt. Perhaps something to do with Red…
The Level Cap will raise from 60 to 70 for all jobs. The team is planning to revamp the battle system to address old and new actions. Actions will be grouped by role rather than Job. The user interface will also be revamped where job-specific buffs like the Dragoon’s “Blood of the Dragon” will be easier to see than looking at the buff bar.
New areas will be introduced in Stormblood — it won’t just be desert areas because it’s toward Ala Mhigo. New dungeons, raids, and a fourth residential area will be added. New primals will be added, including Final Fantasy favorites and ones original to Final Fantasy XIV. New dungeons, alliance raids, and high-end raids will arrive too. They’ve been thinking on the feedback from previous raids regarding difficulty modes which will manifest in how Stormblood raids will be designed. Flying mounts will be able to fly in Stormblood areas, but you’ll need to collect Aether Currents first like in Heavensward — the team wants you to explore and experience these areas on foot first.
A new area called Forbidden Land Eureka will be a new type of area to explore — perhaps you’ll run into Notorious Monsters here. The team also hints this area will involve building a new relic-type weapon.
Inventory expansion will also come with Stormblood, and the team is working around the clock to make it as massive as humanly possible. However, this will be tricky, so the team may need to stagger the launch of the expansion for it to work. More details will be revealed later.
Support for the PlayStation 3 version will end, but Sony and Square Enix will team up for an upgrade campaign where it will be free (aside from buying an actual PlayStation 4). Minimum specs for the Windows PC version will also be raised to provide the best experience for Stormblood.
We’ll be updating this post as details develop — stay tuned!
Final Fantasy XIV‘s next expansion Stormblood was announced today at the game’s Fan Festival in Las Vegas. Slated for release early next Summer, the team revealed (to cheers) that support for PlayStation 3 will end when the expansion launches. If you wish to continue playing the game after the expansion, you’ll need to upgrade to a PlayStation 4. To make this easier, Square Enix and Sony will be partnering for a new upgrade campaign closer to launch where — if you buy a PlayStation 4 — it will be at no extra cost.
Director/producer Naoki Yoshida added that he thanked every fan who bought a copy of the game on PlayStation 3, acknowledging that the platform was instrumental in reviving Final Fantasy XIV with A Realm Reborn‘s launch in 2013.
Meanwhile, on the Windows side of things, the team revealed they will be raising the minimum specs of Final Fantasy XIV at Stormblood‘s launch. Specifically, they encourage you to upgrade to a 64-bit operating system to get the most out of the expansion.
During a Q&A panel later on today, Yoshida was asked about the possibility for NX (Nintendo) support. Yoshida’s response was that their policy is to have everyone who has Final Fantasy XIV play together [on the same servers]. While this isn’t a direct yes or no, Yoshida’s response echoes similar comments he’s made regarding a possible Xbox One version of the game in the past. This stance will determine, it seems, if Final Fantasy XIV will release on any current or future platform.
Final Fantasy XIV Stormblood will release in Early Summer 2017 for Windows PC, PlayStation 4, and Mac.
I agree with you that the difficulty of the new raid is more in line with midcore. I am having more fun in it for that reason. That said, I like the fights the least. I don’t hate any of the fights (like how I hated A6S), but I don’t love any of them either. Same goes for Sophia.
Raids Difficulty: Great
Raids Story: Not bad
Raids Mechanics: Not great
Sophia Difficulty: Not bad
Sophia Story: Not great
Sophia Mechanics: Not bad
I think the story was really good and the execution was kinda meh. The pacing felt off for the WoD, and certain things felt a little weird. Like, Xelphatol felt off in many ways. First, we wanted to take a ground approach in so that we wouldn’t be hit with large resistance, but then we were hit with large resistance. We would have faired better just flying to the top I am sure. Second, I felt pretty bad killing all of the Ixali. We went there to stop the Warriors of Darkness and then just decided to slaughter all these Ixali in their homes. It sure made me feel like a hero! Third, the dungeon itself just felt weird. We’re invading their home that is apparently just a bunch of narrow bridges lined together with guards that spend their entire time watching for invaders. Overall the presentation of this part of the story and dungeon just didn’t seem to fit for me. It’s also disappointing that most of the story is just cutscenes now.
MSQ Story: Great
MSQ Execution: Not good
MSQ Length: OK
MSQ Playability: Poor
Honorable Mention: Gu Ba
I have been both impressed and disappointed by this. I went in thinking the idea was pretty meh and that I’d try it out anyway. I’ve done it and it’s hardly meh. It can kind of be fun to go back and do this old content solo, with friends, or in queue. I was surprised to see an instant queue for my healer on T1. That said, the sticker system completely ruins this content for me. The RNG factor is just frustrating and most of the rewards can be obtained in other ways. For example, once per week, I can do 9 different activities in it (or replay some, i.e. solo running Sastasha) for a chance at 2 TierV material, or I can just run PotD or Weeping City to get it and know that at the end of it all, I will in fact get it. None of the rewards in this content are even good enough to warrant the RNG nature of it. On another thread someone mentioned how you get the “best” armor with 3 lines. However, it’s hardly the best. It’s 20 ilvls below the max ilvl in this tier, and each week you’re locked to one of 2 jobs/roles that you may not be playing. I received my 260 chest piece last week, which is already better than the caster chest piece in WT this week.
Wondrous Tails: Mixed
I have got the quest for this, because the same as above I want to give it a try despite my misgivings. That said, I am having a really hard time encouraging myself to unlock this content. It seems so much like Garrison Missions in WoW, and I already know that I thought that was the stupidest thing Blizzard has done (probably ever?). Since coming to this conclusion, I’ve glanced over a few forum threads talking about it – some praising, some complaining – and none of them have made my desire to try this out even more. I won’t grade this, as I haven’t tried it, but I suspect it will rate pretty low for me.
I’m not a fan that this is locked behind crafting/gathering. I find that a lot of casual content in this game is, and it frustrates me as I really dislike crafting and gathering in FFXIV. I do want to have some fun in casual content though.
Story: Not great
Mechanics: Not great
Atmosphere: Not bad
2007RunescapeGold.com only sells one type of virtual currency: Runescape Gold. It can deliver to all servers in the US and Europe. For those with plenty of RS Gold to spare, you can also sell your extra gold at this site.
If you’re after the cheapest Runescape Gold, you might be better off shopping at other sellers since this site has one of the more expensive prices for RS Gold. Take for example its 35,000 OSRS Gold + 17.500 “free” package, which totals 52,500 RS Gold and costs $26.25. Compare this with the 50,000 OSRS Gold for $17 rate among the cheapest sellers listed on 2007RunescapeGold.com. 2007RunescapeGold.com does beat a few sellers like Koala Credits that sells 50,000 gold for $26.43, but you can find dozens of other sites with cheaper offers if price is your ultimate decision factor. If you do decide to buy here, it is best to wait for the free gold promos during special holidays and in-game events such as Noblegarden.
Speed 2007RunescapeGold.com reveals its average delivery time is 21 minutes and 19 seconds as of March 25, well within the faster end of their advertised speed range of between 10 minutes to an hour for orders 80,000 gold and below, and 10 minutes to 12 hours for orders 100,000 gold and above. This seems like a very quick delivery speed, considering that the site offers up to 600,000 Runescape Gold per order.
Shopping and Payment
One of the highlights of 2007RunescapeGold.com on a customer perspective is its user friendly website. The site is professional looking and neatly organized, and they have a lot of features that make shopping easier such as a shopping cart system and multiple language support (English, Dutch, French, Italian and Spanish.) International buyers can also choose to convert their order in terms of US dollars, Euros or British pounds. The site also accepts a wide variety of payment methods such as PayPal, Mastercard, Visa, Skrill, Bitcoin, Amex, Discover and more than a dozen other options.
Live chat support located on the bottom right part of the site, and agents appear to be well trained and quick on the keyboard. Issues are quickly addressed and there is a sense that they are really there to please the customer instead of just doing the bare minimum assistance.
Hello you electric blue angels of the abyss, and welcome to Ask Dr. NerdLove, the only dating advice column to master the Dim Mat.
This week, we’re talking about what it takes to be more attractive. Is it all about the face? The body? The bank account? Or is there something more to it? What if you’re not good looking at all? Is there any hope for you?
Obviously I’ve got an answer for this, otherwise we’d’ve picked a different question. Let’s do this thing.
Hi Dr. NerdLove.
As someone who is in university I constantly see the most painfully attractive women in my day to day life. For most of my life I have simply accepted the inevitable, that I will never have a girlfriend, that I will never have sex and that I will be romantically alone until the day I die. However, constantly seeing the most cruelly attractive women on campus has made the idea of being alone increasingly more and more unbearable until I feel like I’m at breaking point where if I don’t try I will regret it for the rest of my life. This means that I’m attempting to put a life time of feeling ashamed of being attracted to anyone aside, overhaul my life and for the first time in my life attempt to date. This leads to the first major stumbling block.
What if there’s such a thing as being too ugly?
Going back as far as I can remember, the standard response of the opposite sex to me has always been the same and it can be summed up by the word “ew” or a slightly longer “eeewwwwww”. Even when I stopped having any hope of ever being in a relationship, it felt like I had to be constantly reminded of my place and as a result dating has always seemed like an alien concept that was only for other people.
I’ve always felt ashamed whenever I felt even the slightest attraction towards anyone, because this wasn’t something meant for me. To be brutally honest it still feels the same today. For example, you frequently make reference to getting smiles from women as an indicator that they are open to being approached, but in my entire 22 years of being alive I have never once seen this. There are only two standard responses I ever see upon eye contact, either complete and total apathy or absolute putrid disgust. That’s all there is.
It doesn’t matter whether I am laughing with friends at a bar, just sitting in Starbucks with a neutral facial expression or suffering in the university library, the response is always the same. When I say this, I don’t mean hanging around on the streets making eye contact with women like some kind of turbo creeper, but the kind of places where you have mentioned that this is appropriate in your articles. I then compare this with the ease with which my tall, good looking friend effortlessly attracts smiles everywhere he goes and even has women approaching him. This makes it very difficult to believe that it is even possible for women to be attracted to me.
This leaves me stuck in a rut. I want to believe it’s possible that I can be in a relationship but all evidence makes it difficult to believe such a thing is possible. That by virtue of the way I look women will always want me to stay away from them in any context outside of platonic friendship. I feel like if approaching women is getting your foot in the door then I can’t even get that far. Without ever experiencing a hint that any woman could ever be attracted to me gives me the fear that no matter how much I improve it’ll never overcome my facial features or my height (5'8"). Yet at the same time the thought of never being in a relationship has become too unbearable especially while I’m in university. So at the moment I’m in a sort of limbo where I feel like a strange alien man sent from another planet to never experience dating, and I simply don’t know where to go from here.
A Sexual Nothing
You know, ASN, I deal with a lot of guys with problems like yours. So many, in fact, that I may start a policy of requiring minimal standards before I can agree that someone’s actually ugly. From the letters I get, I expect grotesquerie. I expect vestigial horns, massive goiters with teeth, Kuato coming out of their chest.
Every time, however, the guy tends to be someone who’s… actually pretty average. They may not be challenging Denzel Washington for “most symmetrical face” any time soon, but they’re hardly Joseph Merrick. More often than not, most of what’s needed is some Proactiv and/or braces, not radical plastic surgery.
But here’s the thing: not being conventionally good looking doesn’t keep you from being successful with women.
The fact that hot dudes exist doesn’t mean that less hot men are left having to fight for the scraps like rabid gibbons with knives strapped to their arms. There’re veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan who’ve come home with massive facial scarring who’ve since gone on to get married and have kids.
Lots of “ugly” guys have girlfriends—so many, in fact, that it’s a trope in fiction and real life. Fat guys have wives. Short guys have long, happy relationships. Hell, I’m 5’8”, same as you, and I’ve dated women who tower over me. Not being concerned about being short is intensely appealing, especially to women who’ve gotten stick from dates and boyfriends about wearing heels. Good looks may help when it comes to dating, they’re not the end-all, be-all that people think they are.
To start with: “good looking” is incredibly variable and personal. Matt Smith looks like a statue from Easter Island but he gives fangirls the screaming thigh-sweats. Some folks will swear by Chiwetel Ejiofor’s smile, while others could care less. Vincent Cassel is sex on toast to many other women, while others would never touch him with a borrowed vagina.
For example, pull up a photo of Geoffrey Arend. He’s not going to win any beauty contests anytime soon. Possibly ever. But he’s also married to Christina Hendricks. Now look at Steve Buscemi. Really look. I want you to look deep into those baggy, hangdog eyes, gaze long and hard on those crooked teeth… and remember that he’s married with kids. Mick Jagger’s got a face like a bulldog chewing on a wasp but still banged his way through half the women at the Ford Modeling Agency. Hell, Serge Gainsbourg looks like a damn Deep One and still got European ass like a drunk man with a stolen credit card at a St. Tropez donkey auction.
But, I hear you cry, they’re famous actors and musicians! They’ve got stuff going for them besides their looks!
Guys frequently confuse “being attractive” with “good looks”. While the looks and attraction do go hand in hand, they’re not synonymous. Being attractive is about more than just your face or your height or your physique; it’s about the whole package. People who seem to date folks who’re “out of their league” get that there’s no such thing as “leagues”; there’s people who dig what you bring to the table and people who don’t. Sometimes that’s looks. Other times it’s an ability to make someone feel special, or to sing like an angel. Still other times, it’s the ability to make people laugh.
Before someone brings it up: yes, money can help attract women… it attracts women who like money. It’s also clearly not necessary, seeing as “broke, couch-surfing, unemployed musician boyfriend” is a cliche that’s older than steam.
Being conventionally good looking is certainly a help in the short term, especially since they work to create attraction of the bat. But science has found that looks aren’t the long-term advantage you would think. In the paper “Relational Mate Value: Consensus and Uniqueness in Romantic Evaluations”, researchers at UT Austin found that personality and uniqueness were more attractive than looks. While people might rate hot folks as being more desirable at first, after three months, the people with desirable personalities – warmth, openness, friendliness, etc – were the hottest dating tickets around. Why? Because getting to know someone makes them more attractive to you.
This works to your advantage, ASN. You may not be able to do a straight cold-approach at the bar, but that’s fine. We very rarely date someone we’ve just met; 9 times out of 10, we date people we’ve gotten to know, whether over days, weeks or even months. Playing long game means you get to play to your strength. As long as you realize that your problem isn’t on your skull, it’s inside it.
As woo-woo as this may sound, a lot of your problem is attitude. Reality is subjective and our beliefs control them. Believing you’re ugly and unattractive means that you’re going to act as though you are. It’s going to permeate every aspect of your life. You put less care into how you dress or how you groom yourself because what’s the point? Your body language is going to be closed off and unappealing. You hunch over and fold in on yourself in order to take up less space. You try to avoid making eye contact or drawing attention to yourself. You’ll see people looking at you and assume, absent of any evidence, that they’re repulsed by you. How couldn’t they be?
Change that belief, on the other hand, and you’ll get entirely different results. Adopting a more positive attitude actually improves your life on a practical level. To start with, people prefer to associate with positive individuals. Negative people are energy vampires who suck the life out of folks. But a positive, confident attitude also increases your emotional resilience, so that not only does failure not destroy you, but you’re more willing to take risks. It puts you in a position to take advantage of opportunities as they arise instead of wringing your hands and thinking there’s no way you could go for it.
It affects you on a physical level too. Feeling more confident gives you more confident and open body language, which is more attractive. You’ll dress better. You’ll be more likely to actually talk to people instead of just assuming that they couldn’t stand you.
So how do you get there?
Well, you want to build yourself up. Take some pages from those guys I mentioned earlier. Start with your external presentation. Part of Gainsbourg’s appeal, for example, is the man had style. He may have had the Innsmouth Look, but he also dressed sharper than a tack. Dressing well, even if it’s just a well-fitted pair of jeans and a shirt, makes you feel like a million bucks. Go to a salon and talk with a stylist about an easy to maintain haircut that’ll work with your hair type and face shape. Make sure you shower and use deodorant. These are all very little things that may not change your physical shape but will change your appearance and help form the basis for changes in your attitude.
Next, you want to get more in touch with your passions and interests, the things that make you unique and special. Collect experiences, so you have stories to tell. Look for adventures and live a more active life, one that people would want to take part in. Don’t assume that because you’re not in the top 1% of something that you’re hopeless. You don’t have to be the best singer or dancer or the funniest guy or whatever. You just need to develop your passions, the things that you can do that will help people enjoy themselves in your presence. The most important attractive aspect of someone isn’t their looks or their money or their job: it’s that they’re fun to be around.
You may be an acquired taste, so give people time to acquire you. Tinder may not work for you, but going to Meetups or taking classes or getting involved in volunteering will.
But most importantly: learn to love yourself and take pride in yourself. Your attitude is destiny. Learn to realize that you’re awesome and cultivate that awesomeness and you’ll find that your dating life will improve.
This is my first time writing to your column but you’ve helped a lot of people and I love reading your stories on Kotaku. Let me cut to the chase.
I work as an I.T. specialist for a major theatre company. During the winter I’m insanely busy and during the summer I’m bored out of my mind.
This past summer I decided that I was going to give an mmorpg a shot. I’m a huge gamer and decided that this summer I was going to try a different genre one that’s out of my norm. So I decided to play Final Fantasy 14.
I met someone the first day of playing, joined their free company and she and I became best friends. Months passed and we were hanging out every day pretty much online. She was dating someone who happened to also be the company leader. Their relationship fell through and after a week or so she and I were dating online. We left the free company and started our own.
We texted every day, every night, and this turned to phone calls every night before bed. Before you know it not even a month in and we’re both saying I love you. It scared me a bit at first but I hadn’t been in a relationship for 3 years, so it was nice to have someone to love and to love me back. Maybe a little naive.
Things started moving really fast. We’d say things like I’ll love you forever, get into really strong and intense conversations about how deep our love is. And then something happened. I have never been possessive but this girl started saying things like, “I don’t want you talking to women,” “I don’t want you hugging girls in game, unless it’s family,” “avoid women at all costs.”
Now before when we were friends, I hugged everyone, I was the life of the party, being super nice and friendly with everyone. So I loved her and I stopped doing that, I basically cut off all women. She said that she would cut off all men but I told her I didn’t care if she talked to or hugged men in game as long as they were friends. She refused, believing it to be similar to cheating.
This all started trickling more and more into my real life. She couldn’t go ten minutes without a text, she’d get mad if I didn’t keep them coming and especially if I couldn’t call. So mad in fact that phone calls would be one sided, me talking, her saying nothing.
I had made plans to go see her, but because of my job that fell through. The reason being I got into trouble at work because I was ignoring all the females in the office. Texting and calling at work. Something I’d never do. That day she threatened suicide. And has said on many occasions afterwards she wished she was dead.
It’s no longer summer and I’m busy all the time, when we do talk it’s mostly always a fight. The times that it isn’t we’re saying I love you, I want to see you, I want to be with you, I don’t want to lose you. She hates my job and wants me to leave it. I can’t do that, I worked hard to get where I am. I’ve yet to see her in person.
I’m to the point where I’m exhausted and unsure what to do because I’m scared that if I break up with her, to end this stringing along, that she’ll kill herself. I don’t want that. I think I jumped the gun on the love aspect. It’s not that I don’t like her a lot, that I don’t insanely care about her. It’s just this isn’t working out.
I don’t know what to do, I made an immense mistake, we’ve only been dating 2 months and things have progressed to this. Could you help me?
A Moogle In Love
Yes, I can help you, AMIL. It’s very easy.
DUMP HER NOW AND NEVER TALK TO HER AGAIN.You get out of there like all of hell and half of Hoboken was after you. Then get down on your knees and thank whatever god you believe in that you didn’t spend the money to go see her.
Holy hopping sheep shit dude, your girlfriend is waving more red flags than a NASCAR race in a hurricane.
Let’s break it down for a moment. We’ll start with the fact that you started “dating” within a week of her “breakup” (scare quotes are intentional) with the guild leader. While people do often leave a relationship and get right into another, this behavior is suspicious at best when you’re dealing with people in the flesh.
Then there’s the fact that you went from chatting to saying “I love you” when a) you’d been dating for less than a month and b) you’d never met in person. The former is bad enough; declaring your love for someone you’ve known for less than six weeks tends to be a sign of emotional immaturity when they’re actually present with you. It’s even more true when you’ve never actually met.
While long, happy relationships can and do frequently start online, the fact is: relationships have a physical component. You don’t really know somebody online as well as you do when you see them in real life. Phone calls, Facetime, Skype… none of this can adequately communicate whether or not you will actually have chemistry when you get together in the flesh. Plus: you miss any number of signs of who they really are, from the way they smell to the way they treat the waitstaff at restaurants.
So yeah, there’s that.
Then there’s the fact that she hits toxic relationship bingo: love-bombing you at the start before demanding constant contact, demanding that you quit your job (to spend more time with her), dictating which of your relationships were acceptable (including in-game interactions, Jesus fucknuts…) and using her jealousy and threats of self-harm to keep your behavior in line. This woman is ten pounds of emotional abuse in a five pound sack and the best thing you can do is run screaming in the other direction.
The only saving grace right now is that you’re learning what an abusive relationship looks like at a relatively safe (for suitably emotionally damaging values of “safe”) distance and that learning this lesson only cost you a couple months. The potential damage she could do to your heart and soul if she had more time or lived in the same town as you is immense.
So here’s what you do: you dump her, cold. No warning, no explanations, no excuses. Any reason you give will just be an opening for her to argue why you’re wrong. You take the Nuclear Option and cut her out of your life entirely—block her in-game, on your phone and on every form of social media you have. Set filters so her email goes straight to the trash and never talk to her again. There is literally nothing to be gained from having her in your life. Excise her from it like a cancerous tumor. You may have thought you were in love. That was hope and inexperience talking, and she was leveraging it against you. That was how she ensured that you wouldn’t enforce your boundaries around her.
To paraphrase a sage: you may love her, yeah, but you love you more.
You may worry that she’ll hurt herself if you do. Don’t. This is a manipulation tactic that abusers love to exploit. It turns your relationship into a hostage situation, where they’re both the hostage and the hostage taker. She’s not going to do anything and even if she does (SPOILER ALERT: she won’t), that’s not on you. You’re not responsible for her actions, especially the ones she takes to try to manipulate you.
Once she’s gone, you’ll find that a massive weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You’ll realize just how much she was draining the life from you, even from hundreds or thousands of miles away. And once she’s out of your life, you’ll have learned some valuable lessons.
1) You’ll be better equipped to recognize a toxic relationship before it starts.
2) Next time, you’ll learn to slow your roll before declaring that you love someone just from their online presence.
Did you change your appearance? Were you stuck in an abusive relationship, online or in person? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments, and we’ll be back in two weeks with more of your dating questions.
Ask Dr. Nerdlove is Kotaku’s bi-weekly dating column, hosted by the one and only Harris O’Malley, AKA Dr. NerdLove. Got a question you’d like answered? Write firstname.lastname@example.org and put “Kotaku” in the subject line.
Harris O’Malley is a writer and dating coach who provides geek dating advice at his blog Paging Dr. NerdLove and the Dr. NerdLove podcast. His new dating guide New Game+: The Geek’s Guide to Love, Sex and Dating is out now from Amazon, iTunes and everywhere fine books are sold He is also a regular guest at One Of Us.
He can be found dispensing snark and advice on Facebook and on Twitter at @DrNerdLove.
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